i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
