Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
