When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
