just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
