can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
