We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
