i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
