i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
