considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
