What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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