so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
