Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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