Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
