even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
