had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
