You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
this just has baby written all over it
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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