Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
