okay pat passed out under dana's car
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Randomize
