it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
