i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I smell like Dick and happiness
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
