Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
