the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
