i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
