the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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