the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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