he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Randomize
