so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
