Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Your penis caused this!
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