We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
