well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
