you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
