I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
