I'm jealous of your bromance
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
