i think my tv is drunk
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
