I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
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