Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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