Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I stole a fireplace last night.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I need a burrito and a hug.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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