I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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