Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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