I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
