Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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