can u get pink eye on your cock?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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