I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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