Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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