She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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