I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
