I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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