there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Randomize
