I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
