I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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