I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
