I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
