He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
