I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
