hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
